Paint it Black
by sirius ordo
Summary: This story is based off the letter written by Aric and sent to his female trooper wife. It contains spoilers for the expansion KotFE. It may also contain spoilers for my fic Flirting with Desire. If you don't want to know then don't read it! You've been warned.


**Paint it Black**

 _ **A/N: Warning! Warning! Warning! This ficlet has spoilers for Knights of the Fallen Empire and possibly my own Flirting with Desire. Proceed at your own risk! You've been warned!**_

 _ **While I've played the new expansion through on my male trooper, Zane, I have yet to play it through on K'agan. I saw Aric's letter posted on Jediserenity82's Tumblr account. From that moment, this story has been begging me to write it.**_

The song is Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones, which seemed more than appropriate.

 _K'agan,_

 _I'm stuck in a trench with Fourex and running low on ammunition. Skytrooper drop ships are inbound, probably two minutes out. Feels like the longest break I've had in weeks._

 _We've been fighting these things for two months now. We hunker down and shoot until our barrels melt, and more of them keep showing up. Getting real tired of it. Might not be so bad if I just had my wife here with me like I'm used too._

 _I know you're still out there. No way you're dead._

 _Two months is long enough. Please come back to us._ ( _Letter is taken from KoFE)_

 ** _I see a red door and I wanted it painted black_**

 ** _No colors anymore I want them to turn black_**

 ** _I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes_**

 ** _I have to turn away until my darkness goes_**

 ** _I see a line of cars and their all painted black_**

 ** _With flowers and my love both never to come back._**

She's gone...

And it's my fault...

Damn her orders...I never should have left her on the force damned ship!

I'd rather be dead or missing with her, then left alone in this gods forsaken galaxy without her. Better dead than whatever this existence is...

"I estimate the enemy drop ships are a minute out sir," said Fourex, beside me.

An answer isn't necessary and the droid isn't really expecting one...

 ** _I see people turn their heads and quickly look away_**

 ** _Like a newborn baby it just happens every day._**

Leaning back against the rock wall behind me, I carefully unfolded the tattered dog-eared letter with my heavily gloved hands, the first line causing the breath to catch in the back of my throat.

 _We regret to inform you, your wife, Major K'agan Kazik-Jorgan, was killed in_

 _action aboard Darth Marr's flagship..._

Squeezing my eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall, I can still see the image of the Imperial ship crashing into the Eternal Empire cruiser. The red of the explosion still burns hot against the back of my eyelids as the triangular ship is slowly consumed by smoke and flames. The sight will forever haunt my dreams and the brass acts like I wasn't there...that it wasn't my order...

"Assholes," I growled under my breath.

Republic Command didn't even have the guts to notify me via live holo-call, of the change in K'agan's status from POW to KIA. Instead, they sent me a standard droid notification written letter, from the safety of their cozy offices, deep inside Republic space, while I sit in this dirty fox hole, on the front line of some nameless planet.

I'm tired...my mate's gone and if command is right, she's dead. I'll never see her again in this life. This war has taken everything from me. The cost has been to high and I got nothing left...

 ** _I look inside myself and see my heart is black_**

 ** _I see my red door and must have it painted black_**

 ** _Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts_**

 ** _It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black._**

"Thirty seconds, Captain."

Folding my letter, I slipped it back into a concealed pocket on my chest armor and sealed it closed. I quickly checked my battered armor, making sure each piece is securely in place. Finally, I wearily slapped the bolt back on my assault cannon and released it. Locked and loaded. Ready for the seemingly endless supply of Enternal Empire forces...

"Let's do this Fourex."

Turning in the dirt, I level my cannon in the direction our enemy will come from and I wait...

 ** _No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue_**

 ** _I could not foresee this thing happening to you._**

 ** _If I look hard enough into the settin' sun_**

 ** _My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes._**

The line of soldiers started coming at us and I opened fire. A rainbow of colors from the blaster bolts, light the field in a strange hue. As I stand, I can feel the heat of a blaster bolt, streaking past my head, as the reek of ozone seeps through the breather on my face mask.

"Duck Captain!"

I barely get out of the way of the Knight's blade that slashes at my head. Bringing my weapon around, I shoot him in the chest, dropping him in his tracks.

It would've been so easy. Just a second slower and it would have all been over. I could've joined my mate in the next world. I wouldn't be alone anymore...I wouldn't be in pain anymore...I wouldn't be tired anymore. I miss K'agan so bad I ache with it.

There's nothing holding me to this universe. My in-laws are taking care of the kits. They took our family and hid. They'll protect them, raise them for us.

Watching the tide of enemy soldiers, I realize it may not matter this time. We may be overrun, cut down. Maybe this will end...

 _ **I see a red door and I wanted it painted black**_

 _ **No colors anymore I want them to turn black**_

 _ **I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes**_

 _ **I have to turn away until my darkness goes**_

 _ **I see a line of cars and their all painted black**_

 _ **With flowers and my love both never to come back.**_

It would be easy...we'd be together again...god's I'm exhausted...

End

A/N: Yeah, this is a tearjerker. I can't imagine being Aric, giving the order that dooms his wife, even if she ordered him to do it, that would have to tear him apart. After reading that letter, it tore my guts out and nearly left me in tears.

Just FYI, as far as I know Aric will survive and appear in the expansion, though I haven't found him yet. sad face

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


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